Waiting to start my grad role after uni and spending the summer of my final year at Uni dossing about, it started to take it’s toll on my sleep patterns. Well, I didn’t sleep and still don't. I spent most nights on chat rooms whilst the drone of the snores were coming from that man in my bed! Turning the light off to try and get to sleep would bring up images of the stalker from school days and the weird freaks I met on the chat rooms, so sleeping with the light on became a regular feature. Distinguishing between night and day was then made a little harder with my complex over imaginative and over active mind. My fascination with reading numerous books on forensics and the ins and outs of the worlds most gruesome serial killers may not have helped my case.
10 years of insomnia and 10 years of Doctor support and this is my summary: tranquilisers don’t touch it, herbal remedies you may as well not bother, sex doesn’t work and oddly enough watching Tony Blair hasn’t worked either - nor does tha help the sex so best to avoid him altogether actually!! The only solace I get is taking a very high dose of what are already strong sleeping pills. These will knock me out, but for an hour before they work, I allegedly go a bit crazy – strange you may think as I seem perfectly normal!! I vaguely remember bits of the craziness the day after, but not to the level of detail I am later told. They completely knock my muscles out, I lose control of being able to walk normally and feel like a tonne weight. Whilst laying flat (because I can’t physically move) I believe that I am falling, I try chasing chickens around the house, which is a little dangerous with the stairs and I have also had an abnormal fear of oranges and anything orange coloured must be thrown out of the window or people will die! I know I am a little odd, but this could alter anyone’s opinion of me, or confirm it!
Not sleeping much, having 5 cats and a husband that sleeps instantly the second he is in bed does get to me. I am constantly tired, incredibly frustrated (especially with the bed thing) and I swear the cats can sense my irritation and p*** me off some more by scratching, implanting dirty footprints on the white sheets and fighting extremely loudly like a herd of elephants running up and down the stairs. I am well placed to be up with a screaming child all night, I am used to the lack of the sleep and clearing up vomit and excrement almost every day. From the stories I have heard on children lately I don’t think it would be too much of a dramatic change!!
