Having gone from bad situation to worse situation (oddly through no real fault of my own), I am now finally in a job I think I could enjoy longer term and a company I could stay at for long enough to warm my chair! Having gone through a whole day of psychometric and preference assessment, I have come to officially realise through true hard-core facts that I am absolutely nothing like my colleagues and share pretty much no common traits or similarities! Ordinarily if you were looking for a relationship you might say that opposites attract, however in a working environment this has highlighted which buttons I need to push to really p*** someone off (good to know!) and exactly who to avoid on one of those days.

What it has also made completely clear to me is that if I ever need to focus, have a bit of quiet time in order to plan, use data, think logically or be able to reflect occasionally, I may as well forget it. I would get more quiet time in the midst of an Iron Maiden concert and more co-operation in advance of a deadline from a bunch of Greyhounds clocking a rabbit than I would at work!

The one thing I have always found with colleagues everywhere I have worked, is just how much they all seem to love to talk – a lot, and not about anything really in particular – just a whole bunch of words and whole lot of voice. Clearly from this statement it isn’t something I do often – talk a lot I mean. Of course I talk, but most people I find can’t be arsed to truly listen anyway, I figure it will save me so much more energy if I just didn’t bother in the first place! Sounds negative you might think, but actually it’s part of who I am and part of who other people are. There are exceptions of course… Everyone else just seems to feel so much more passionate about what they have to say for themselves than anything I would ever want to say, so I just leave them to get on with it and instead have important conversations in my head with my ‘advisors’. According to my preference this should be perfectly normal to me, though could be seen as slightly schizo to others when these voices are silently talking to me all the time! Whether my imaginary friends as a wee lass were attributed to my preference, the fact I was an only child or even some paranormal experiences, I can’t be 100% sure.

Everyone else’s life (in their eyes obviously) is so much more important than mine that I just haven’t felt the burning desire to really tell anyone anything about me. Actually not just about me, but just anything really, I am pretty private. But, that truly isn’t because I don’t want to talk or I don’t want people to get to know me, I just don't always know how to - I am competing against people who are far more willing to open up than I am (probably on more than one level actually!), so I don't stand a chance. I would love people to know me better – I am a misunderstood genius after all and could occasionally contribute. If they wanted to know anything about me that bad though, I figure they would ask – plenty of opportunity as I am practically a mute anyway! This is the closest I have and probably ever will come to talking about small and insignificant things in my little life to anyone other than my selection of really close friends, not just the ones in my head – so yeah, you are totally honoured.

(Disclaimer – none of the information contained within this blog can ever be used against me…)