It’s been so long that last wrote a blog, I have had so much to talk about but couldn’t be bothered and now I can be bothered as there is rugby league on (and is always some kind of rugby or football on no matter what time it is) and now I can think of nothing to talk about. My husband has been trying to educate me on the difference between rugby league and rugby union, quite frankly I couldn’t be less interested. All I see are legs and butt and that is all I need to see, but thanks for trying.
Hmm anyway what shall I talk about, well what are my favourite subjects, sex, murder and alcohol I think. Not all at once, that would be weird, and in no particular order:
By murder I don’t mean I commit them or indeed ever intend to commit, but a part of my really warped personality likes to read about them. I also truly believe I have some psychic tendencies in my dreams and often what I dream comes true in some form. I told you people thought I was warped and yes I quite openly admit I may be a little bit odd, but hear me out.
So this morning when I was waken up I was absolutely knackered. Not in an average I don’t want to go to work kind of way, but in an ‘I can’t physically move as I have zero energy’ kind of way. This is because I spent the entire night slipping in and out of horrific vivid nightmares which has had a huge impact on me today. They were just so real and it felt like they went on for hours. I was back packing in Australia with my best friend and we were staying in hostels and cheap hotels until we found out that there was a serial killer praying on backpackers in that area, so we walked for miles and miles and up and down hills to try and find somewhere safer to stay. When I woke I honestly felt so exhausted from all the walking I didn’t think I could get through the day. I am now incredibly concerned that my nightmare may really come true, so I will be watching the news closely for the next week.
When I was younger I used to frequently dream about things that then came true within a week, such as when I dreamt that a cat got through the window and ate the chicken that was on the side cooling down from the oven – this actually happened that very morning which I didn’t know about until my mum told me in the evening. I have also dreamt about tornadoes, earthquakes, kidnapping and plane crashes, all of which have then happened shortly after, so I was a little shaken today. So that is where my murder interest has impacted my day.
OK next subject, sex. My boss has done a pretty good job at taming my hormones this week, not that she has personally put me off anything, our relationship isn’t like that… even though she did try to get it on with one of my female colleagues today!. Generally she isn’t like that! When I say taming my hormones, what I mean is that she has used a few examples and analogies to describe things to me using the part of the male anatomy I would normally enjoy and has painted a pretty awful picture in my head of someone you would not put in the shaggable category. In fact, you wouldn’t want to put in any category. To cut a long story short the words ‘stroking’ and ‘cock’ were used in the same sentence as this persons name and I almost saw my breakfast for the 2nd time.
So this painted image has been playing on my mind ever since and now whenever I hear his name this comes into my head and I now really really do have to separate these two things to avoid my sex life being ruined. It’s not healthy! On another note an ex shag buddy / booty call man from University has tracked me down. Whilst I don’t have a problem in speaking to any of my previous ‘mistakes’ I am not sure about this one. He was the one I was caught with by my husband at University when I was kind of meant to be seeing him. All a bit complicated, obviously I wasn’t married then and it is all water under the bridge and completely out in the open. I do think I need to tread carefully though and maybe keep a slightly bigger distance now than I had done then! It will be fine…!
Final favourite subject is alcohol, or more alcohol induced stupidity in my friends than actually with me. I am fairly tame really, if you discount my run ins with police on peeing in civic grounds with friends, mad drunken road dashes and flashing to the nice kind uniformed people that look like police (err, OK were police, oops) and the tripping over, launching of beer mats at burly men and things I have regretted and would rather forget. So now I try to drink a little less and watch others act just so foolishly.
Tomorrow night we are going to my best friends as she and her husband have just got back from holiday and that normally means she will cook us a great meal, she and I will get giggly and silly over cocktails, we will hear all their funny tales and she would have bought me some great presents. This time though I also have a surprise for her as I booked us tickets to go and see Dolly Parton at the O2 in July!!! Wicked, I know it is Dolly Parton and we are waaaayyyyy to young for that, but Dolly is our drunken Singstar Goddess and I know Mounia will love it, so I can’t wait to tell her!
In other news, work is still there, I still have to go as I didn’t marry a millionaire (questioning why now!!) but I have a partially new team and it is all very exciting and a great addition to what is already a fabulous team with the best boss ever. The boss also has a rather special Birthday coming up and plans are currently well under way. Oh the fun we could have, I hope she will be in a good mood – a sense of humour on the day and there after will be a pre-requisite for her coming into the office! It can’t be worse than last year so there isn’t much to worry about and sitting far enough away now to be out of firing line is all good. What could possibly happen...?!
