Sorted!

Well that is how it has been over the past week… lots of highs and very scary stuff going on but all in all things are well.

So Friday morning I got to work feeling tired, though not out of the ordinary and continued as always when I got into a riveting conversation with two of my colleagues about SOX (yawn), immigration rights (yawn), work permits in the EEA (yawn) and how we are going to ensure we follow due process (yawn yawn yawn).

So on this lively and highly exciting debate we were having, something funny happened to me. Not funny ha ha, no that came later with me trying to deal with it in some deranged Elton John impersonation… bear with me; I actually lost part of my vision, in both eyes. Now this in itself is slightly odd, never heard of immigration induced vision loss before. My colleague came to the rescue and I was marched into a darkened room with a bottle of water until I could see enough to be able to stumble back to my desk. Apparently I was blinded by her beauty… hmm not sure about that but if you get my vision back I’ll tell anything you want to hear!

The Elton John bit came in when I did get back to my desk, still partially blind, developing a head ache and feeling really queasy, the only thing left to do was to put on some dark shades to block out the light, however the only ones I could find in my magic drawer were novelty gold rimmed glasses in the shape of stars! Yes the word ‘twat’ did come to mind on quite a few occasions, particularly when unexpected visitors would think I was off my rocker not knowing the ‘valid medical reason’ for why I may need to wear them. Then I started having hot and cold flushes so the dodgy engineer fleece was on then off, then I was running for the loo in a queasy spell and drugging up. Finally I succumbed to really not feeling well and it not being appropriate for me to bring the professionalism of the department right down (whatever!) and I was told to clear off, so I went home.

I was really scared about this incident, I called my husband and told him, he then shouted at me and gave me a royal telling off for letting him know sooner, he packed up and came straight home to my aid. Lovely thought that he cared that much to come and see me, but I was comatose for 16 hours in sheer exhaustion so it was a bit of a wasted journey after I made him walk back from the station and all! Still, I could command pretty much whatever I wanted all weekend, so it was worth it!!!

Sight back in tact, I was on the mend and other than a few aches everything seemed back to normal. And then I found out something yesterday I wasn’t expecting and today has been a bit of a blur, though fortunately for all, not in the embarrassing Elton John kind of way!

So it has been an emotional past week, a colleague has also had a lovely baby and today I was sent some gorgeous pictures of 3 kittens up for grabs. I immediately called my husband to tell him about the great opportunity only to be told a cold “YOU COME HOME WITH ONE MORE CAT AND I WILL FLUSH THE F**KER DOWN THE TOILET” Jesus, only asking, I take it that means no then?!

Fair enough, we do have 5 cats already, one of which just won’t leave me alone, she has been literally attached to my hip for the last couple of weeks, not even leaving my side in bed. When I say in bed, I don’t mean IN bed, I mean when I am in bed she has to be with me. This has in the past acted as an occasional contraceptive whereby any late night attempt my husband made to get near me, she would fend off… which to be fair saved the headache situation occurring when I couldn’t be arsed, though I do question its effectiveness! Anyway, she really loves me I’m sure, it can’t be about food all the time. Last night on one of my many hundred trips for the loo, I asked her politely to move, obviously she didn’t, then I did the hug and role trick, still nothing, then I put my hand under her belly which normally gets her to slowly move away but instead she jumped up in a huff, turned to hiss and then spat at me! Charming, I make myself uncomfortable so as she can be all cute and cuddled up and that’s how she repays me. Well she can forget it… tonight Matthew, we are sleeping cat free!